Apply Yourself to the Field Ministry for the Week of February 8-14, 2027

Starting a Conversation

Householder: Do you mind if I wait here in the shade? My sister is still shopping, and I needed to get out for a while.

Publisher: No, of course not. You are not blocking the way here. Is there a lot of people inside the market?

Householder: Quite a few. And on top of that, a man cut in line. I told him so, and we ended up speaking more loudly than we should have.

Publisher: After waiting your turn, it is upsetting when someone goes ahead of you. Were you able to clear things up?

Householder: The cashier did respect my turn, but the man kept complaining. I answered him too. My sister says I should have let him go ahead, but that does not seem fair to me.

Publisher: I understand. There is a difference between asking someone to respect your turn and ending up in a fight. Sometimes it is hard to maintain that difference when the other person raises his voice.

Householder: Exactly. Because being kind sounds very good until someone takes advantage of you. If you always keep quiet, other people do whatever they want.

Publisher: I do not think we have to say nothing. A Bible counsel that connects mildness with being reasonable helps me. May I read you that sentence?

Householder: Well, if it is just a sentence… Although I should warn you that I am not very religious.

Publisher: Of course. I am not assuming that you are. Notice how Titus 3:2 describes the way to treat others.

Publisher: Titus 3:2 — to speak injuriously of no one, not to be quarrelsome, but to be reasonable, displaying all mildness toward all men. I understand that as an invitation to be careful about how I respond, not to agree with everyone. In a line, I could firmly ask for my turn without insulting anyone.

Householder: That is what I did at first. But if the other person keeps going, then what? It seems that all the effort has to be made by the one trying to behave properly.

Publisher: Yes, it can be difficult. You had already explained what happened, and the cashier respected your turn. Continuing to answer the man probably was not going to resolve anything further.

Householder: Resolve it, no. I only managed to leave angry. But I do not need a religion to know that arguing is not wise. I was taught that at home.

Publisher: Of course, many families teach people to treat others well. I did not mean to imply otherwise. That counsel serves as a reminder to me when I find it difficult to do so.

Householder: Are you Jehovah’s Witnesses? I ask because of the display.

Publisher: Yes, we are Jehovah’s Witnesses. We share Bible counsel with those who wish to talk.

Householder: Well, I have reservations about religions. I have seen people talk about respect and then treat others badly. That is why I would rather not get into those subjects.

Publisher: I understand why that would make you distrustful. I will not insist if you would rather leave it here.

Householder: Yes, that is better. Besides, I can already see my sister coming out. I am going to help her with the bags.

Householder: It is not that I mind talking with you. What makes me uncomfortable is that, when I say I disagree, people sometimes take it as an invitation to convince me. Then I become defensive.

Publisher: Thank you for explaining that. If someone feels that she has to defend herself constantly, the conversation becomes exhausting. Listening also means accepting that the other person may not want to continue talking about a subject, even if it is important to us.

Householder: That happens to me with my sister. She tells me something for my own good, and I immediately try to justify myself. Earlier, for example, I could have acknowledged that I ended up shouting without again telling her everything that man did.

Publisher: You could tell her: “I did not like that he cut in line, but I also did not like the way I ended up speaking.” That acknowledges your reaction without justifying what happened. And for my part, we can end our conversation here.

Publisher: All right. Have a good day.

Following Up

Publisher: Hi, Elena. We agreed that I would stop by on Thursday. Is now a good time, or are you busy?

Householder: I can talk for a little while now. I just hung up with my father. We were trying to make a video call, but we ended up talking on the phone as usual.

Publisher: Was the app not working?

Householder: It works. He taps the wrong thing and then does not know how to go back. I explain the steps, but he asks me the same thing several times. And we were just talking the other day about being patient…

Publisher: Yes, I remember you said that it can be harder with family. Also, on the phone you cannot see what is on his screen. What do you do when you can no longer explain it to him?

Householder: Today I told him we should leave it. I did not yell at him, but I know my tone was not good. Then I feel bad, because he only wants to see his grandchildren.

Publisher: So you are concerned not only about solving the phone problem but also about how he feels when you try to help him.

Householder: That is right. But being patient cannot mean repeating the same thing all afternoon either. Some days I am very short on time.

Publisher: Of course, you have other things to take care of. There is a scripture that connects patience with the way we treat others. May I read you a few words, and you can tell me what you think?

Householder: Yes, read them to me. Let us see how I could apply them without ending up exhausted.

Publisher: Notice the qualities mentioned at 1 Corinthians 13:4 when it speaks about love. There is a passage that fits this situation very well. Shall we read 1 Corinthians 13:4?

Publisher: 1 Corinthians 13:4 — Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous. It does not brag, does not get puffed up, Here patience appears together with kindness. Thinking about what you said, it would not simply mean enduring without raising your voice, but trying to make your father feel well treated while he learns.

Householder: That is what I lack sometimes. I say the right words, but with a tone that seems to say, “Here we go again.”

Publisher: Do you think it would help to choose a time when you are not in such a hurry and practice just one thing? Rather than solving everything at once, you could, for example, help him learn to answer a video call.

Householder: Maybe. I try to teach him how to call, answer, change the camera… And in the end he gets confused. Perhaps I am the one trying to move too quickly.

Publisher: And if you need to stop that day, you could suggest when to continue. That way he would not confuse your lack of time with a lack of desire to talk with him. Being patient does not require solving everything in one call.

Householder: I can try that. I would rather tell him we will continue tomorrow than end up speaking harshly. Although thinking about it now is one thing, and remembering it when I am nervous is another.

Publisher: I also need reminders. That is why it is useful to pause over a Bible thought and think about how to apply it. Would you be interested in learning what a Bible course is like?

Householder: Talking for a while is fine, but not a course. I already have enough commitments, and I do not want to start something and then have to tell you I am quitting.

Publisher: That is fine, Elena. You do not have to start a course just because we talk. If you ever become curious, I could show you a video about what our Bible courses are like. Watching it does not mean accepting one.

Householder: A video showing how it is done? That might be okay. When you say course, I imagine classes, notes, and having to prepare everything.

Publisher: Exactly. Watching it would give you a clearer idea and help you decide whether it could benefit you. But we can leave it there today. You do not need to decide anything now.

Householder: Another day would be better. You can come next Thursday and show it to me. But for now I only want to watch it.

Publisher: When we watch it, you can consider whether that way of learning would be useful to you in situations like the one you mentioned. Are you mainly concerned about finding the time, or is there something else that makes you hesitate?

Householder: I also think that I already know I should be patient. My problem is doing it. I would feel embarrassed to be learning from the Bible and then have to admit that I spoke harshly to my father again. I would feel that I was not making good use of what I learned.

Publisher: I understand. But recognizing that something did not go well can help us see what we need to improve. Think about this call: even though it has ended, you could still tell your father, “I am sorry about my tone earlier. I want to help you, but I became nervous.” That would be a concrete way to put into practice the kindness we discussed. Learning does not consist only of knowing what is right, but also of thinking about what to do when we make mistakes.

Householder: I had not thought of calling him to apologize; I was waiting for my annoyance to pass. I can do that without waiting until the next video call. And on Thursday we can watch the video, although I would rather put off deciding about the course.

Publisher: All right, just watch it. I will stop by Thursday. I hope your next call with your father goes well.

Explaining Your Beliefs

Householder: Look at this listing. In the photos the apartment looks huge, but it has only one bedroom. I have spent the whole break searching, and the ones we can afford disappear immediately.

Publisher: Is that the one you showed me yesterday, or did you find another one?

Householder: Another one. My boyfriend says that if we combine what each of us pays, we could rent something better. Also, that way we could see how well we get along before getting married. You are one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, right? What do you think?

Publisher: Yes, I am. I understand that sharing expenses is attractive. And wanting to get to know someone well before getting married makes a lot of sense. In my case, I would not live with a partner before getting married, because of what the Bible teaches.

Householder: Even if you plan to get married afterward? We do not want to keep changing partners. We specifically want to avoid the marriage failing.

Publisher: I do not doubt that you love each other or that you are thinking seriously about it. But the Bible distinguishes between intending to get married and being married. If you would like, I can show you the scripture on which we base our position.

Householder: Yes, show me. I thought it was a rule of your religion, but I did not know there was something written about it.

Publisher: These words at 1 Thessalonians 4:3 explain how God views sexual relations. Let me read them to you. There is a passage that fits this situation very well. Shall we read 1 Thessalonians 4:3?

Publisher: 1 Thessalonians 4:3 — For this is the will of God, that you should be holy and abstain from sexual immorality. Sexual immorality includes sexual relations outside marriage, even when a couple plans to get married. So for us, it is not merely a matter of sharing an address, but of respecting the place God gives to those relations.

Householder: I understand your position, although I do not see it the same way. I am more afraid of marrying without knowing what it is like to live with him. When we go out, everything goes well; running a household is different.

Publisher: Of course, an enjoyable outing does not tell you how you will handle problems. Are you mainly worried about discovering habits that bother you, or about not knowing how to resolve differences?

Householder: The second. I do not care as much if he leaves a cup somewhere. I am worried about ending up taking care of everything and, when I tell him, having him think I am exaggerating.

Publisher: So more than discovering his habits, you want to know whether he will listen to you and share responsibilities. That is worth discussing before taking the step. The Bible also explains what kind of union marriage is. Notice how Genesis 2:24 presents it. There is a passage that fits this situation very well. Shall we read Genesis 2:24?

Publisher: Genesis 2:24 — That is why a man will leave his father and his mother and he will stick to his wife, and they will become one flesh. Jehovah, who founded marriage, presents it as a union between a husband and a wife. Commitment is fundamental—not merely checking whether everything feels comfortable, but being willing to work together when difficulties arise.

Householder: But getting married does not make someone responsible either. I know married couples who argue about everything. A piece of paper does not guarantee that someone will take care of you.

Publisher: You are right: getting married does not automatically change anyone. That is why I would not tell you to rush into marriage. Commitment must be accompanied by qualities and effort. Living together as a test does not guarantee that both will develop that willingness either.

Householder: True, but at least if it does not work out, each person can go his or her own way. That seems easier to me than separating after a wedding.

Publisher: It may seem that way. However, this article about living together before marriage points out a difficulty: once you share rent and other responsibilities, ending the relationship can become more complicated. Some couples continue because separating is difficult, not because they have resolved their differences.

Householder: I understand that. Just thinking about paying the deposit, buying furniture, and looking for an apartment again… But then, how can I get to know him well without living with him?

Publisher: The article suggests taking enough time and paying special attention to the values and beliefs you share. In your case, you could discuss what you expect regarding chores, money, and how to resolve a disagreement. Do not just ask questions; observe how you treat each other now.

Householder: We can talk, but anyone can say he is going to help. Then he has to do it.

Publisher: Exactly. For example, when you bring up something that concerns you, does he listen? If you agree to do something, does he do his part? Those situations do not reproduce all of married life, but they allow you to learn about his qualities without yet sharing a home.

Householder: He usually listens to me. Although we have left the matter of dividing chores at “we will see.” Perhaps we are looking at apartments before discussing some important things.

Publisher: You can give yourselves time to discuss them. The Bible’s alternative is not to marry without knowing each other, but to get to know each other well while respecting marriage. Its counsel seeks our good, not to make us decide blindly.

Householder: I am not saying that I have changed my mind. But I want to read that article, especially the part about how to prepare. What is it called?

Publisher: Yes, and as you read that part, notice this: preparing does not mean finding someone who thinks exactly as you do about everything. What matters is knowing his values and how you handle differences, without letting the rush to find an apartment make the decision for you.

Householder: That reassures me, because we do have differences. I like to save money, and he enjoys making plans. Should we interpret that as a sign that we are not compatible?

Publisher: Not necessarily. You could consider a specific situation: if little money remained after paying the expenses, would you prefer to save it or go out? More than finding a perfect answer, observe whether you can listen to each other and reach an agreement that both of you are willing to keep. A different preference is not the same as refusing to listen to the other person. That conversation can help you see how important money and the well-being of the relationship are to each of you.

Householder: I understand. It is not about looking for faults, but about knowing whether we can make decisions together. I will write down the title so I can read it carefully.

Publisher: Of course: “Should We Live Together Before Getting Married?” I will leave it open for you so that you can note the title. If you would like to discuss an idea afterward, we can talk calmly.

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