Starting a Conversation
Assignment details
Assignment: Starting a Conversation
Duration: 4 min
Lesson and point: Lesson 1 · Sincere Interest · point 3
Teaching objective: Be flexible. Instead of starting conversations with what interests you, start with what interests the other person. So open your mind, change gears, and ask yourself:
Setting: At the door of a home, a person who is sorting books to donate speaks for the first time with a female publisher about her interest in biographies
Associated Bible text: John 4:6-9 — In fact, Jacob’s well was there. Now Jesus, tired out as he was from the journey, was sitting at the well. It was about the sixth hour. A woman of Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her: “Give me a drink.” (For his disciples had gone off into the city to buy food.) So the Samaritan woman said to him: “How is it that you, despite being a Jew, ask me for a drink even though I am a Samaritan woman?” (For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.)
Official material: HOUSE-TO-HOUSE MINISTRY. Directly offer a Bible course to someone who shows interest (lmd lesson 1 point 3).
Publisher: Good morning. May I speak with you for a moment, or is this a bad time?
Householder: A moment is fine. I was sorting these books to donate, but I’m almost finished. The problem is that I start leafing through them and don’t get anywhere.
Publisher: It’s easy to get distracted that way. Is there any book you would not want to part with?
Householder: The biographies are staying. I’m interested in knowing what people were like, not just what they achieved. Especially how they treated others when they had problems.
Publisher: Of course, that says a lot about a person. I like to notice that detail when I read the accounts about Jesus—how he reacted to people who had different customs.
Householder: I know a few things about Jesus, but I’ve never read those accounts on my own. Although, honestly, when I think of the Bible, I think more about rules than about people.
Publisher: Then you might be interested in learning about that side of it. I wanted to offer you a Bible course. We can read an account, discuss it, and see what you learn from it. We could begin with how Jesus treated others.
Householder: A course? I don’t know if I want to get into that. I like reading and drawing my own conclusions, but I don’t like being told beforehand what I have to think.
Publisher: I understand. It would not make sense to ask you to repeat an answer you were not convinced of. You can say what you think and ask about anything that does not make sense to you. If you like, we can look at an example now, and you can decide whether you are interested.
Householder: Well, I would be willing to look at an example. I’m interested in what you said about different customs. Sometimes all it takes is for someone to come from another place for people to look at him with suspicion.
Publisher: This account presents precisely such a situation. Jesus meets a woman beside a well. I’ll read John 4:6-9. Notice how he begins speaking with her and what surprises her.
Publisher: John 4:6-9 — In fact, Jacob’s well was there. Now Jesus, tired out as he was from the journey, was sitting at the well. It was about the sixth hour. A woman of Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her: “Give me a drink.” (For his disciples had gone off into the city to buy food.) So the Samaritan woman said to him: “How is it that you, despite being a Jew, ask me for a drink even though I am a Samaritan woman?” (For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.) Jesus begins by asking her for something as ordinary as water. And the woman is surprised that he speaks to her even though he is a Jew. What impression does that beginning make on you?
Householder: That he does not avoid her. Although he was also tired and thirsty. Asking for water does not seem extraordinary to me by itself.
Publisher: That’s true; he had a real need. What is significant is that he did not let the separation between Jews and Samaritans stop him from speaking to her. The woman’s reaction shows that this was not usual.
Householder: Yes, that’s why she asks him about it. He does not begin by arguing about their differences. I like that better than approaching someone by telling him he is wrong.
Publisher: And that detail gives us something to think about. Sometimes, before getting to know a person, we have already classified him. Beginning with a simple conversation can help us stop seeing him as a label.
Householder: That happened to me with a neighbor. I thought she was very distant because she hardly ever said hello. One day we talked about some plants, and it turned out that she was embarrassed to speak because she was still learning Spanish.
Publisher: By talking with her, you were able to understand what was happening. That is the kind of reflection we can make when studying the Bible: carefully observe the account and think about how to put what we learn into practice.
Householder: I would be interested in trying that. But I would prefer to continue with this account before moving on to another subject. I want to know how the conversation continues.
Publisher: We can continue from there. Would it be all right if I came back another day and we spent a few minutes reading what happens next?
Householder: I can do Thursday afternoon. We can try it that day, but I’m not promising yet that I’ll continue with the course.
Publisher: All right; you can decide afterward. Would five o’clock work for you?
Publisher: All right. And when we continue reading, is there any question you would like to keep in mind, besides knowing how the conversation continues?
Householder: Yes. When I read biographies, I sometimes wonder whether I am understanding the person or attributing my own ideas to him. How can we avoid that when reading about Jesus?
Publisher: We can distinguish between what the account says and what we assume. For example, here it says that Jesus was tired, but not that he was in a bad mood. We should not add that detail. If something is not clear, we can leave the question open and keep reading.
Householder: That seems reasonable to me. Let’s try it that way on Thursday, and then I’ll see whether I want to continue.
Householder: Yes, five o’clock. By then I hope to have finished with these boxes.
Starting a Conversation
Assignment details
Assignment: Starting a Conversation
Duration: 3 min
Lesson and point: Lesson 2 · Naturalness · point 5
Teaching objective: Be adaptable. The conversation may take an unexpected turn. Instead of using the thought you had in mind, be willing to adapt your message to what concerns the person.
Setting: At the door of her home, a woman waiting for a pharmacy delivery speaks for the first time with a female publisher and mentions her concern about her husband’s illness
Associated Bible text: 1 Peter 5:7 — while you throw all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you.
Official material: HOUSE-TO-HOUSE MINISTRY. Teach a Bible truth. If you wish, you may use one of those found in appendix A of the Enjoy Life Forever brochure (lmd lesson 2 point 5).
Householder: Oh, sorry, I thought you were from the pharmacy. They said they would come this morning. Tell me.
Publisher: Don’t worry. I’ll be brief so that you can keep waiting for them. I wanted to share a Bible thought about the future, something that can give us hope.
Householder: Well, right now I’m not thinking much about the future. My husband is sick, and I have enough to do organizing his medicines and this week’s appointments.
Publisher: I’m sorry that you are going through that. So what you need right now is help coping with day-to-day matters rather than talking about plans for the future.
Householder: Exactly. My sister helps me when she can. She tells me to pray, but sometimes I’m so tired that I don’t even know what to say.
Publisher: It’s good that you can count on your sister. Regarding prayer, there is a simple thought in the Bible: God wants us to tell him what worries us. We do not have to hide how we feel from him.
Householder: I used to pray more. Now I start praying and end up thinking about the test results. Then I wonder whether it does any good, because my husband is still the same.
Publisher: When all you want is for someone you love to get better, it is hard to think about anything else. I would not want to imply that praying guarantees that he will get well now. May I read you something about why we can turn to God?
Householder: Yes, if it is brief. I’m interested in what it says, although I have my doubts.
Publisher: Of course. This passage relates prayer to God’s concern for us. Notice what 1 Peter 5:7 says.
Publisher: 1 Peter 5:7 — while you throw all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you. The reason it gives is that he cares for us. So the worries about the test results that come to your mind can also be part of what you tell God.
Householder: Even if I end up saying the same thing every day? My worries do not change much. Sometimes all I can think is that I’m exhausted and afraid.
Publisher: You can speak to him about that honestly. Think of your sister: if you tell her again about something that still hurts, it is not because you have nothing new to say, but because you still need her support. This text encourages us to entrust our anxieties to God.
Householder: That is how it is with my sister. Sometimes she cannot solve anything, but I can talk without having to organize my thoughts first. I had not thought of God that way.
Publisher: You do not need to prepare a speech. You can tell him what is weighing on you and ask him for help to endure it. That does not replace your husband’s care; it means also turning to someone who cares about both of you.
Householder: I’ll think about that. Please write down where it is. I have to go inside now; I left some things unfinished.
Householder: But I find it hard to ask for help for myself. He is the one who is sick. Sometimes I feel selfish for thinking that I need to rest or have some time for myself.
Publisher: I understand. But the passage does not limit the anxieties we can tell God about. Your exhaustion matters too. Telling him what you need does not mean that you love your husband any less.
Householder: For example, when my sister comes, I could use the time to rest, but I feel bad about leaving her to take care of everything.
Publisher: You can tell God even about that feeling. You do not have to hide it. Accepting that time of help from your sister may also enable you to continue caring for your husband.
Publisher: Certainly. I’ll write down the reference for you: First Peter, chapter five, verse seven. Then you can look it up calmly. I’ll let you get back inside. I hope the delivery arrives soon.
Explaining Your Beliefs
Assignment details
Assignment: Explaining Your Beliefs
Duration: 5 min
Setting: At the Kingdom Hall, a brother addresses the congregation and invites them to think about caring for the needs of others by following Jesus’ example
Associated Bible text: John 15:13 — No one has love greater than this, that someone should surrender his life in behalf of his friends. / Matthew 20:28 — Just as the Son of man came, not to be ministered to, but to minister and to give his life as a ransom in exchange for many.” / John 13:34-35 — I am giving you a new commandment, that you love one another; just as I have loved you, you also love one another. By this all will know that you are my disciples—if you have love among yourselves.”
Official material: Talk. ijwbv article 32. Title: What Does John 15:13 Mean? (th lesson 13).
Perhaps this has happened to us: Someone needs to talk to us just when we were planning to rest. We want to listen, but we are tired too. At such times, love stops being a beautiful idea and becomes a decision. Jesus’ example helps us make that decision generously.
When we think of Jesus’ love, we surely remember that he gave his life for us. It was an extraordinary demonstration of love. But understanding why he did so can also help us decide how to use our time, energy, and attention in behalf of others.
Let us place ourselves on the last night of his life on earth. Jesus was giving counsel to his 11 faithful apostles. He had only a few hours left before dying. Even so, he focused on preparing his friends and teaching them how they should treat one another.
He had commanded them to love one another by following his own example. He was not simply referring to feeling affection or getting along when everything was easy. To understand how far that love should go, let us listen to Jesus’ words recorded at John 15:13.
John 15:13 — No one has love greater than this, that someone should surrender his life in behalf of his friends.
Jesus was speaking about love so strong that it would move someone to give his life for his friends. His disciples were to be willing to love one another to that extent. It was sacrificial, unselfish love that put the welfare of others above one’s own.
Jesus was not asking them to do something he did not practice. During his ministry he devoted his energy to teaching about God’s Kingdom and healing the sick. People’s needs mattered to him. His actions showed that his love was not limited to words.
He was also willing to perform humble tasks. That same night he washed his disciples’ feet. Although he was their Teacher, he did not consider serving them beneath his dignity. Love moved him to do something useful for them without seeking a position of comfort.
Here we find a very practical application. At home or in the congregation, there may be necessary tasks that go unnoticed. We can ask ourselves: Is there something I can do to lighten someone’s load? Imitating Jesus includes making ourselves available to help, even when what we do receives no attention.
For example, if a family member is exhausted, we might take care of a task that he normally does. If a brother needs to express himself, we could spend some time listening to him without rushing him. These are simple ways to put his needs ahead of our comfort, within our ability.
However, John 15:13 pointed to something much greater than these everyday acts of service. A few hours after saying those words, Jesus gave his life. He himself had explained the purpose of his sacrifice. Let us note how he expressed it at Matthew 20:28.
Matthew 20:28 — Just as the Son of man came, not to be ministered to, but to minister and to give his life as a ransom in exchange for many.”
His death was a ransom in exchange for many people. Jesus not only taught what sacrificial love was; he demonstrated it in the greatest way. By giving his life, he proved that he loved others more than himself. Meditating on this strengthens our gratitude.
We might think that giving one’s life for someone is a situation far removed from our daily experience. But we do not have to wait for an extreme circumstance to cultivate that love. We can learn to be generous now, in the small decisions we make when dealing with our brothers.
This does not mean that all of us can help in the same way. Our strength and circumstances differ. The issue is to look at others with sincere interest and think about what we can offer. Sometimes it will be practical help; at other times, time to listen or a few encouraging words.
Jesus loves all people, but he had special affection for his faithful disciples. They had obeyed his instructions and stayed by his side during his trials. He considered them close friends. That friendship reminds us of the value of supporting our brothers when they too face difficulties.
First-century Christians took this example very seriously and were willing to give their lives for one another. Such love would not be a secondary detail of their worship. Jesus explained that it would identify his true disciples. Let us read John 13:34, 35.
John 13:34-35 — I am giving you a new commandment, that you love one another; just as I have loved you, you also love one another. By this all will know that you are my disciples—if you have love among yourselves.”
The love among the disciples was to be visible. It was not enough to claim that they followed Jesus; they had to treat one another as he had treated them. When we help generously and show sincere interest in one another, our actions show that we want to learn from our Teacher.
That love also moves us to share the good news of God’s Kingdom. Jesus devoted his ministry to that message. Imitating him includes thinking about the needs of those who listen to us, paying attention to their concerns, and kindly explaining how what the Bible teaches can help them.
Thus, John 15:13 teaches us how much Jesus loves us and what kind of love we should cultivate. Think of someone we can help this week and of one specific action we can take in his behalf. Let us not wait for an extraordinary opportunity; let us begin today by showing generous, sacrificial love.
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